I hope i’m around to tell you these things in person but if not, you probably already know that nothing is promised and let that be your guiding principle.

I’m writing this to make sure you see my perspective on certain matters as i’m sure there’d be ten billion opinions on a lot of issues by the time you’re here so it might help to see what your father thinks.

My words are not gospel but they are laced with love and I tell them to you with all the affection a person can possibly have for another.

If you're reading this, then it means you’re here.

It means that the idea of having you won over the idea of keeping you locked in heaven or wherever they say babies live.

For the longest time, I put myself in your position and asked myself if someone played the clip of the world to me before I came here; showing me the good in its extreme glory, the bad in its extreme horror, and all the in-betweens, would I have freely chosen existence?

But make no mistake, your being here is intentional even though I hesitated for a while. I’m late into my twenties now; 28 years old and I’m yet to decide if bringing you into this world is a remotely good idea. I mean, the point of it all exudes me.

I won’t bore you with my philosophies but there’s a good chance you love boring philosophies if you’re anything like your old man. Just don’t bore the ladies with them. Your mother fell for mine though so maybe you’d get lucky too (lol).

I decided that if I met a woman who is aware and conscious enough like me, to understand the implications of having a child, the extreme duty of care that it entails, and the ability to nurture a human being into a functional member of society, I’d have you.

So if you’re reading this, it means I met her and she’s the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.

Here is a list of things I wish someone told me very early in my life and I hope they provide some clarity in your journey through life…

• On Success

Success is relative. What is grand failure to you might be a huge success to another so, focus on your path and do with all your might whatever your hands find to do.

Nobody has it figured out no matter what you see from the outside. I thought adults knew better and made better life choices so I saw my parents as infallible. Dead this thought, son, there is not a person under the sun who can boldly say that they were dead sure about their life choices when they made them.

Parenting is an entry-level job. Nobody goes into it with experience. Your mother and I have not been parents before so all our inadequacies regarding you are not intentional. We are simply learning along the way and iterating.

We wake up each day with the goal to do right by you and use all the necessary information at our disposal to do that.

We’re all winging it, including the pastor who preaches to you every Sunday and the other man that has the Bentleys of this world in his garage.

Money or seeming proximity to God are not hallmarks of decent life choices or success.

What does ‘success’ mean to you? once you have figured that out, set out to achieve it. Success is personal, even if it looks like failure to everyone else in the room, how it makes you feel is what matters the most.

Know this too, you don’t have to do what you love when it comes to money and you don’t have to do the things you hate either. But if the thing you love happens to provide enough for you to live a comfortable life, then, by all means, do that.

Find a skill you’re interested in, master it, and make money. Having money will create choices for you that you never even knew existed. You can discover your passion for ballet dancing after you have money. Be street smart.

• On Friendship

The world is held together by our network of relationships. We must interact to keep the peace and maintain our sanity. If you can, keep a small circle of people around.

They can be one or two people, what matters is the quality of people involved and not the quantity when it comes to relationships.

It is also important that you know your worth as a human being.

You deserve love, trust, and a duty of care and if these are not offered to you in the people that you call friends then by all means, walk away.

This is the barest minimum you should expect from other people. You must also give it, to earn it.

Your friends can be male or female of course, but take care not to use friendship as a cover to get into the pants of somebody’s daughter. Make it clear from the beginning if that’s what you want, son, and she must give express consent to this. Consent should be the basis of your interactions, especially with the opposite sex. The world is tough on women and you should do your best to be a place of peace.

Define your relationships. It will save you from headaches and unnecessary drama throughout your lifetime. There are all manners of people in this world and at the end of the day, you can only be sure about your own intentions.

I leaned into myself for the most part of my life. I made friends with the voices in my head, got too comfortable with them, and hardly had space for other people. There is nothing inherently wrong with being a lone ranger but doing life with others makes things easier. I have been through it son, so I can tell you this.

Healthy friendships will come in handy when life sways you around because it will. That mf will test your patience but true friends will make your lowest moments bearable. Also, when you win, you’d derive another level of joy sharing it with the people you have chosen to do life with.

Take care to choose your friends wisely, son. They will play a big part in how you eventually turn out in life.

• On Politics

Participate or quit complaining.

Vote or be voted for.

It is that simple.

Don’t be the person that constructs the fanciest grammar to criticize politicians and leaders when all you do during elections is look the other way.

Power is intoxicating as fuck especially when you have access to the kind of money and influence politicians have access to. It is easy for anyone to eye political seats for selfish reasons and this is why you must participate to vote the best people (as far as you know) into power; at least someone with a conscience.

Vote someone you know a thing or two about their backgrounds and you have a glimpse of hope that their humanity is intact. Encourage other people to do the same. This is one of the major ways you can make any lasting impact on society.

Only after voting have you earned the right to criticize and take politicians to the cleaners.

And if a politician or their emissaries ever come to you for political thuggery support, remember their own children won’t be fighting alongside you. Call your senses to order, son. Your mother and I raised you right and you shouldn’t give the world the opportunity to treat you lesser than you deserve.

• On Family

Your family is probably the only people you’d enjoy unconditional love from. I can assure you this; your mother and I, our primary responsibility is to love you and part of that love is provision and guidance. We’ve brought you into this world to give you that and more. You will never do life alone as long as we live.

We owe you undying love and care. You did not ask to come into this world, and we’re going to do everything in our power to see that you live a decent life.

If you ever choose to have your own procreated family, make that decision knowing that you’re signing up for a lifetime of service, commitment, and dedication. Come rain or sunshine, put them first. Your home should be a place you can always come back to when your world is seemingly on fire so, let the peace and positivity that exists in it be ever-present.

It is better not to get married or have a child than to do these without adequate planning to nurture them. Bringing another human being into this world takes guts. Do it after really careful thoughts about your capacity to be fully present.

• On Religion

I believe in a higher power.

There are other forces at play in life and you’d come to realize this for yourself as you journey through.

People have different names for this higher power and have very diverse and funny ways of acknowledging it/him/her/them.

Whether they call it Luck, Destiny, God, Allah, or Orisha, there is a force at play in the background of our lives and whichever one you find peace in, is the one you should embrace. Before you dive into any, practice the religion of love and kindness. No religion is greater than this.

Make no mistake, the business of religion is quite lucrative these days and with some of them being run like fortune-500 companies, there are financial targets to meet.

Recognize capitalism when it’s disguised as a place of worship.

At the end of the day, your personal devotion to the spiritual, the love and kindness you have in your heart towards other people, and your devotion to doing the right things are the things that truly matter.

There are many things I want to say to you and if God wills that I breathe and walk this earth a bit longer, then you’d get them in my subsequent letters.

I love you son, and I can’t wait to do life with you.